Tag Archives: Felt sense

“You’re No Good”

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A voice inside is saying, ” You’re no good.” Pause and take that in. You might notice how you feel when you hear this.

You might feel that it’s true, that you’re no good. If this is what comes, now is a good time to sense your feet grounded on whatever they are touching, to feel your body supported by whatever you are sitting on, and to take a breath as you pause.

You might invite yourself to be curious, like a scientist or an explorer. You might even say to yourself, “This is so interesting. I am curious about it.”  Now, bring your attention to this something that says, “You are no good.”

stop sign

Sense how it is it right now inside your body, especially in that whole middle area of the body.  Inside you might feel tense, tight, narrow or some other way. Notice how that is.

You may notice this sense of constriction in some specific part of your body, perhaps in the throat, chest, or belly. Notice where it is. You might say to yourself, ‘I’m sensing something in my <part of body> that’s feeling <tight, constricted, or some or way> and it is saying, “You’re no good” <or whatever criticizing thing is saying>.”

Now, just as you might say hello to someone you pass on the street, you might say ‘hello’ to that something in you that is saying that you’re no good. You might say something like, “Oh, Hello, I see you are there.”

You might be thinking now, “Say hello? Don’t be ridiculous. This is just me, my mind. It’s is always saying things like this!  I just try to ignore it.”

But, rather than ignore it or push it away, you might just give this a try. Say ‘hello’. Now pause and feel how that is when you say hello. Maybe something relaxes or melts away or perhaps you sense it is wanting more of your attention. If that’s the case, bringing your awareness to it in a pleasant and nonjudgmental way is a good way to start to get to know it.

Letting it know that you know it is there is a first step to coming into a relationship with it, just as you might say hello to someone as a first step to beginning a conversation.

When you stop and pay attention you may notice that it’s not coming from inside your inner body. It may seem to come from just over there, outside your skin envelope, maybe a little to one side or the other or behind you. That’s OK. The body goes beyond the skin. It radiates out into its environment.

This something that is criticizing you, is just trying to protect you. It’s really afraid that something bad is going to happen to you. Remember when you were little and your mother would warn you that if you didn’t wear your coat when you went outside that you were going to get sick? This voice you hear is like your mother’s. It’s worried something is going to happen to you, so it says something bad to keep something bad from actually happening.  It is trying its best to protect you.

But guess what! Even though it is doing its best, it actually can’t protect you from anything. And, if you keep it company and listen to it like you would a friend, it will know that you can take care of yourself and it will relax, let go, and after awhile melt away.

Its releasing may not happen quickly. You may need to spend some time with it. If this feels like a big job, you can say to yourself. “There’s plenty of time. I am the space big enough for whatever needs my attention now.” And, if you need to bring your attention to other things in your life, you can let it know that you are willing to come back to it if it needs your attention. That way it knows that you’re not just trying to get rid of it. It can trust you.

Try this out the next time a voice inside is criticizing you and let me me know how it goes for you. I welcome your comments and questions.

An Important Discovery – The Felt Sense

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At one time or another you may have experienced something like this in your body: A vague physical feeling that comes in response to some situation or aspect of your life. Perhaps it has come as “something in my chest that feels really tight like a drum,” or as “a hard knot in my stomach,” or “as a big lump in my throat.” Perhaps it has come in some other way. The ways that it can show itself are endless.

Perhaps you are saying, “Yes, I’ve felt something like that.” Perhaps you are curious now and are wondering what it is all about. Or perhaps you say, “So what!”

If you’ve felt something like this before then you are on the brink of discovery. And, if you haven’t you are also right there, too. You just need to turn your attention inside and sense how your life is going right now and wait for something to show you in your body. Your attention might be drawn to some situation or activity.

For example:

You might sense how it is going with friends. Perhaps a friend has canceled an outing you were looking forward to or something else is going on right now.

Or you might sense how it is going with your children. Maybe your child has just shouted, “Leave me alone! I hate you.”

At work, perhaps another colleague, and not you, has received acknowledgement for a project you worked very hard on.

Or perhaps there is something that you are wanting to do and for some reason you don’t do it.

These are some examples of how your life may be going right now. You may feel bad in some way or that something is not just right about a situation. And that vague, unclear feeling that feels “like a metal ball in my belly” is part of you that is wanting your attention about all that.

So bring your attention inside your body to that rich middle area that includes the throat, the chest, stomach, and belly.  Sense inside your body for that vague, physical feeling. When you sense it, say hello to it. Let it know that you know it is there. And then, once again sense how it feels in your body. You might notice a little shift or you might notice that it is wanting some company. If it is wanting some company stay with it listening deeply. It may share more with you.

What you have discovered is the felt sense. It is something to welcome. It is something that we all have! It is like a lamp at the entrance of a dark alley. It is something that draws our attention and guides our awareness. Getting to know our felt senses is how we can tap into what is important for us in our lives. Stay tuned for more.

More On The Body

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Last week, we talked about people feeling in their body and offered a definition of body as interconnected process, interacting with the environment, sharing wisdom with us all the time. We talked about our bodily process of experiencing the world, the environment in which we live and how we describe that. We gave some common examples. The stomach tied in knots. The queasy feeling in the abdomen. The tightness in the chest. The clenching in the throat. Now, what happens when we don’t feel in our body? When there is no stomach tied in knots?  Does this mean that there is something wrong with us? Or that our definition of body as process isn’t holding up?

Not at all. Because the life process that is body is not necessarily felt by the individual in the physical body, we don’t have to feel physical destinations or associate a feeling with a physical thing such as “a knot in my stomach.”Kreuzknoten-slip_2

For some of us, we experience our bodies simply through an inner knowing. Our experiencing will lead us to say, “I have an inner knowing.” “I just know it.” “It feels right.” We have a sense of something and whether something fits because it feels right. What we don’t have is a subtle somatic experience. We are still sensing without bodily destinations and things we can describe.

In my personal experience when something is tenuous, not quite formed, or afraid of coming forward, I feel and know it is there but don’t have a place or name for it. Over time, as it develops it may feel like it is just there, in that space outside my head or beyond my shoulder, but not in any way associated with head or shoulder. Interestingly, it gives me information all along the way from the time when I just sense something to the time when I sense something over there. I don’t have to experience it as “a knot in the stomach” to listen to what it wants to tell me.

Another example of someone who doesn’t sense things in his body is someone very close to me who is a mathematician. He’ll say, “I don’t feel anything in my body,” but he’s a keen listener and will often say, I just know this; it feels right.” He’s very accustomed to thinking precisely, abstractly and intuitively; it’s in his training, so it makes sense that his bodily experiencing is abstract without place names like “stomach” and things like “knots.”

It isn’t how felt senses manifest themselves, it is whether we listen and how we listen. If we don’t listen with distance, connection, and respect or we don’t listen at all we won’t get a sense of how it is for us right now.

I invite you to sense how you, yourself, experience the body as interconnected process, interacting with the environment, and sharing wisdom. Listen and share how it is for you right now.