On Being Authentic

Everyone is talking about being authentic, of being our authentic selves, and of leading authentic lives. The talk grabs our attention. It feels right to say, “I want to be authentic.” But, exactly what is authenticity? And, how do we know when we truly are?

When we are authentic, the dictionary says, we are genuine, real, true, and honest. These qualities feel right. Most of us want these attributes for ourselves and others. Once we move from the abstract to our daily lives, however, exactly how these operate in us can be much harder to pin down.

What does it mean to be genuine in our words and actions? How do we know if we are being true? True to what? And, are we really honest? Authenticity is an inside job and there s a lot going on in there.

We ask ourselves what is authentic for us. An answer comes. How do we know the answer is authentic?  One way is to look at inner and outer drivers.

Inner drivers include what feels right or what feels true in the moment absent of any interference from our environment. Inner drivers include understanding our reasons for acting in a certain way, acting from our own bodily wisdom, and living courageously allowing our creativity to flow. When we are authentic we decide for ourselves without intervention from external authorities or events. But, the inside is a complicated place. Much of what is happening interiorly is due to externalities that we have taken onboard. Traumas, hurts, slights, and misconceptions have dug deep into the very sinews of our bodies, minds, and souls.

Outer drivers include cultural norms, and/or peer, social, and religious pressures to appear a certain way. Our actions, behaviors and outward manifestation can be driven from external forces.  When what drives us is something bound up inside of us as a result of  our environment, experiences, or traumas then it is these externalities that are driving us. Even external events experienced by our forebears such as famine, war, prejudice, or enslavement can be passed down epigenetically and drive our living experience.

When we feel pressured to adhere to a certain way of living, dressing, or acting or we ignore our own inner objections (such as ‘this doesn’t feel right’) but we do it anyway because we believe we will fit in better or be able to live more comfortably in our surroundings we are living from outer drivers and not our authentic selves.

Authenticity isn’t about being nice. Authenticity is about being true to our inner knowing about what right for us.

Authenticity isn’t about removing ourselves from our environment or our connections. It is about being creative and courageous to act in a way that is being true to who we are as we also live in our environment and nurture our connections.

Sometimes it is useful to sit with ourselves and ask the question? How does this feel inside? Suppose a friend asks you to do something. You immediately say, “Yes, of course I’ll do it,” because this is your friend asking and you want to please your friend. You don’t want your friends, family, society, or culture labeling you as bad, unkind, or selfish.

But inside something doesn’t feel right about it. This thing that your friend has asked you to do doesn’t align with your inner knowing of who you are, your core values, and what feels right. Realizing this you let your friend know, “This doesn’t feel right for me, so, no, not this time.” This is your authentic self shining through.

So what’s authentic? Acting to please your friend even though the action doesn’t align with your core values is not authentic. Letting your friend know that this action doesn’t feel right for you and so you won’t do it is authentic.

Take note here. It is not about your friend, it is about you. When we are authentic, we are not judging others, we are being true to ourselves.

We want to please our friends, our families, and our colleagues. We are compassionate and want others to rely on us. We want to feel included in our environment, community, and among our networks of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances. Something in us believes because we have been told this that this is the way to feeling whole, creative,and full of forward moving energy. But it isn’t. This is what ties us up in knots inside, binds our energy, and dampens our creativity. This is not the path to authenticity.

The process of discovering our authentic selves can have big consequences. It can take a long time and much effort.

So, it was with my own journey to authenticity. As a woman I felt a strong need to be able to make it in life with my own smarts and to depend on no one. After getting an MBA I began working in high tech. I got promotions and made a lot of money but was miserable. I was always trying to fit in, to prove myself, and to succeed according to what my environment defined as succeeding. I had the education, capability, and work ethic.  Those were all there. But, something was missing. It had to do with truth, the truth of who I am and the misalignment between my essential true self and the expectations of the environment of my profession. It was all very subtle.

Years went by. Then it happened. On a business trip, my left foot began hurting so badly I could hardly walk. Getting to and from meetings was agonizing. I felt cut off and physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. Finally the meetings were over and I boarded my cross country flight, slumped into a window seat and fell asleep. On waking, I  looked out the window. There, thirty-three thousand feet below, the sparse and rugged southwestern desert was lit in golden light. In a flash, like a pop,  it was clear.  High tech is not for me. Immediately, I felt energy flowing and the pain subside in my foot. Two days later I quit my job and the unwinding began. My life began opening to me.

The Body Moves Into Nature

Imagine how it would be for us if the most important part of our day would be the time we are in nature. To take off our shoes and feel the earth beneath our feet. To feel the sunlight and wind on our skin. To breath deeply taking in the scent of trees, plants, flowers. To hear birds singing and the swoosh of flight. To taste the salt of the sea, the dryness of the desert, the dense moistness of the forest.

We human beings are intimately connected to the earth. Our Mother Earth comprises not just the soil, rock, and water beneath our feet but also the deep mantle and deeper core. So, too, it is the air we breathe and the atmosphere that keeps us upright and moving.  We intuitively understand this intimate and essential connection–this oneness. And yet, so often we ignore it.


Our lives are busy, our schedules are over-the-top full, and the demands we and others place on ourselves have us living in a state of forgetfulness. The thought of our connection, our natural affinity, and our essential need to be in nature slips from our consciousness.

Let us remember why we need this essential connection with the earth. Humans evolved not in cities, not in urban sprawl, or on highways, but in forests, on the grasslands of the plains, in the mountains, and on the waters. Let us consider that our bodies are interaction with the environment and that this interaction allows us to know before knowing.

Let us consider this.

  • Our connection is vital. The earth’s magnetic resonances vibrate at the same frequency as human heart rhythms and brainwaves. Our energies are one with the earth.
  • We feel better in a green environment. Being in nature for as little as five minutes a day reduces stress. Even looking at photos and pictures of nature can reduce stress.
  • The absorption of sunlight stimulates the production of Vitamin D which protects us from cancer, depression, and osteoporosis. Sunlight balances our mood, helping to keep us on an even keel.
  • Using our bodies in space by walking or running on an uneven terrain, uses a broader range of movement as well as fine-motor movement and more fully engages our balance. The more surely we move in our environment, the more secure we feel.
  • When we are in a natural environment, we can exercise the eyes by frequently roaming between far and near and thus creating more variation. Training the eye muscles in this way helps to keep our physical vision strong. And, by being in and attuning to nature, we also exercise and strengthen our subtle sense of sight–that ability to see beyond what’s there on the surface.
  • Living with close proximity to and interacting with green and water helps to protect us from lung and thyroid diseases, depression, anxiety, and diabetes among other ailments. Being in balance with our outer natural environment also balances our inner environment all the way down to out cells.

Let us re-define health, to mean not only the absence of disease, but also the balance of the bodymind with our natural environment. In this way, we see that removing ourselves from nature is detrimental to our health and well-being.

Let us choose. Select one activity routinely done inside on a regular basis and move it outside to nature. Instead of the treadmill walk, jog, or run outside. Instead of the stairmaster, climb a hill or even find some outdoor stairs. Instead of indoor rowing, go kayaking or canoeing, or find a row boat in a pond. Instead of driving, walk or ride a bike.  Instead of texting, watching TV, or surfing the Internet walk around the block or walk to a local coffee shop and meet a new friend. Instead of eating in the car or on the run, stop at a park and eat on a bench. Instead of meditating or doing yoga on the cushion or mat, move outside to the natural world.

Choose to live as we are meant to live in our most essential natural world.

Photo: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center Image by Reto Stöckli (land surface, shallow water, clouds). Enhancements by Robert Simmon (ocean color, compositing, 3D globes, animation).