Something in me doesn’t like her (him, them). This part of me is feeling hurt and angry. Every time I think of her and what she did, my chest tightens. I sense a closing in. There is no room, no space. My breath stops. My ears ring and anger hisses hot like a steaming tea kettle. And, something else in me doesn’t like that I feel this way. They are both here with me now.
Perhaps you’ve experienced this feeling or something similar when dealing with a difficult person or group of people. It doesn’t feel good and there is a way forward. By being with and listening to each something or part, one at a time, the energy bound-up in your feeling and thinking body will release. As energy releases there is a breath, a sense of space, an ‘aha.’ Right steps emerge with this new life-forward energy.
A beautiful way to meet and be with these feelings in your body is with Lovingkindness meditation. You don’t need to be a meditation pro to do lovingkindness mediation. All you need is a quiet time and space. This meditation needn’t be long. Five minutes can suffice. Set a timer so you can forget about counting time.
Sit quietly, letting your body take a comfortable and upright position sitting on a chair or cushion or standing. Gently place your hands, one on each leg above the knee, or hanging softly from your arms at your sides if standing.
Focus your awareness taking a breath and inviting your intention to meet yourself as you are right now. Sense your body in the space around you. Close or softly focus the eyes. Sense your feet and hands and what they are touching. Sense the chair, cushion of floor supporting you and rest into that support if that feels right. Now bring your awarenesss inside as you gently say to yourself, “I am the space big enough for whatever needs my attention.”
And repeat the following phrases enlarging the circle of compassionate kindness outward as far as your time permits:
May I be happy.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be full of peace and love.
May (Name of difficult person or group) be happy.
May (Name of difficult person or group) be free from suffering.
May (Name of difficult person or group) be full of peace and love.
Continue repeating the phrases with a choice of others such as…
family members, naming each one
friends, naming each one
colleagues and co-workers naming each one
neutral people you meet in your day such as the grocery clerk, the bus driver, the toll taker, the restaurant server, the bank teller
other difficult people or groups by name
groups suffering from devastation such as fire, earthquake, war
those who are ill
all people in your town
all people in your state
all people in your country
all people on your continent
all people on the earth
all people above the earth
all people everywhere
As you recite the phrases bringing loving and kind wishes to each individual and group, your heart opens, your breath softens, energy releases and invigorates. There is a bodily reset and you find yourself moving forward in your life in a new and open way. Ah, it feels so much better.